I have plenty of reasons to divorce my husband (liar, sex addict, joined at the hip with bossy parents). details are too long, and are at:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
as most of the answers suggest, i think i should leave.
but, here is the difficult part. my husband doesn't look or sound remorseful, but he is doing all the politically correct things to "make amends", "reform", etc. he claims he is seeing a certified sex addiction therapist for the addiction, joined the local chapter of sex addicts anonymous, got a sponsor, and i sent him to a psychologist to "cure" his lying. he got some books/workbook by patrick carnes (sex addiction expert) and claims he is going through the 12 steps of sex addiction recovery.
i asked him to discontinue contact with his parents (they are toxic - the "advise" him against me, and he listens - i cannot tolerate that), and he claims he has done so.
now, his claims are hard to verify. i saw some books at home and he locks himself up in a room and claims he is studying those books, and i have seen him rarely use his computer at home anymore, but i know that if people want to feed their addiction, they will find a way to.
he has crazy-made me for the last 2.5 years, and made me lose trust in my gut feelings, manipulating me to believe what he wanted me to believe, and invalidating my gut feelings.
i am so depressed that i cannot get out of bed many days, and i feel if i leave him i will stop eating. he is taking care of the cooking, so i feel i am falling prey to what they call the stockholm syndrome in psychology - people stay with an abuser for small, unimportant "good" things, neglecting the big, important "bad" things.
i am so confused - should i leave or should i not? will i feel bad for not giving him another chance if i leave? will i fall for another, even worse guy if i leave? FMLA Family Medical Leave Act flexes maternity leave::
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No don't leave yet!! Frist try marriage counceling celor for your self . and also go see an independant coun, when all else fails then you are free to leave. You may also need depressant tablets so try everything befroe you leave
LEAVE!
cause he is not worth it
if he is a sex addict and lies
and made u miserable for past 2.5 years
and plus his parents dont like u
its not worth being depressed
belive me there are way better guys out there
I only read the first line.
LEAVE HIM.
If he's having an affair, if he's lying to you, if he's doubting you..
HE'S NOT WORTH JACKSH*T.
Don't drag his sh*t into your life.
Find a better guy.
My dad is doing this to my family now. I'm 16 years old and I'm wanting a child support from my dad. i don't know when to go to court yet.. but i want him to pay the house and college for me. he left me and my mom for another women... i almost fought her but i couldn't cause my dad pulled me down when i was getting ready too.. my life is now messed up.. all i'm hoping for is god to be there for me.
honestly, my mom is depressed too... i'm depressed... i've been acting very different lately.. i act like i don't have a dad in my life anymore.. my life now is messed up. i want everything back. the best thing to do right now is just leave him, get a divorce. i know you don't want to but it's the best way. if you have kids, get child support from him. do anything you can and get everything you can from him. don't get custody cause if you do, he might be a bad influence on your kids and you wouldn't want that at all.
don't give him another chance, hes the one that messed up. let god deal with him. karma is a *****. it will happen to him. he'll realize his mistakes. but don't ever get him back. don't let him come back in your life he's the one that messed up not you. let him get it.
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0. To leave a guild, or not to leave a guild? 01/03/2007 08:08:54 PM PST moment, the leader of the guild leaves for a real life endeavor, leaving the
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just hope and pray to god that everything will be ok. i promise everything will be fine. with god, nothing is impossible. just believe.
Leave A.S.A.P you will find someone who is right for you there is always someone for someone.You just have to know where to look.
I think the real question is do you have the courage to leave.. and how.
You got to plan it and make sure you land on your two feet (or at least in a decent situation). Divorce can be complicated, yet not.... depends on what you want out of the settlement. Find support.. family, friends and programs..
You also sound like you really need to justify this, so know that just your looking for answers on here and by reading your complaints and distress you are right in leaving.. there's a better situation and place for you. Don't do anything against him.. for it will be used against you in court.. but what you can do is get evidence of everything that has happened.. I mean you don't have to cause him damage but just get out of the situation so that you can at least have a clean and healthy start.
Seek legal council.. and do research... clear your cookies and internet history... sounds like he knows his way around the internet so don't let him find out.. or go to a friends house who supports you and do your research there.
One more thing.. stay focused and positive.. and you'll see an end to your endless tunnel of life draining intoxication.
You are fortunate you don't have children...
I read the whole thing and I think you should leave him. You seem to mostly be lacking confidence that you will wont be able to meet someone else, or you might meet someone worse. But I think with this guy you are much more likley to meet someone better, so take a chance, leave him. It's unlikley he's gonna cut his parents out of his life, and he has alot of changes to make which I don't think he has made clear to you that he actually wants to change. It might take some time to meet someone else and it's a big change, but I think it's time to just do it. Family and Medical Leave::
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Sweetheart, Listen to me.....You have done all of the right things...you have tried and tried, and you still seem to be getting no where with this man....I want to tell you a little something about myself...I was with a man who was verbally abusive and very controlling to me and I stayed with him because of my wedding vows, for better or for worse, I also stayed because of my children....When he eventually became physically abusive with me, I walked out and never looked back....This was after 20 years of marriage to him....I never did anything but love him.....So, I just want to say to you, if you are not happy, if things are getting to be too much for you, if he is driving you to the very brink....get out now.....Trust me, they never get better, they only get older.....You are still young and still have your whole life ahead of you my dear.... I have been happily married now for 10 years and my husband is nothing at all like my ex.....He values my opinion, he is loving and trusting and treats me like a real person, unlike my ex ever did....I know you are strong enough to do this....If I can leave someone after 20 years, you can leave him if you have only been together for 2 1/2 years.....You will find that you are stronger than you even know....you will feel as though you are living again for the very first time.....and don't worry....you know what to look for in a man now, you will find someone loving and giving and worthy to share your life with you....I wish you every happiness and every good thing in your life sweetie....((((HUGS))))...Linda..XXXOOOX...
perhaps the certified sex addiction therapist can take you on as a client also.
He would have deep insight to your problems.
If he were not hiding something from you, why would he close the door
when he reads his books? Why would you believe him when he says
he is in therapy?
You already sound like the "poor me" type who has found a reason to stick around
because you can no longer feed yourself.
Get real, and get help.
Honestly if he is not willing to improve himself or love you as himself. You should leave. You cannot change people, you can tell them what they could do but it would change them. Your husband should want to change and love you as himself. You should not continue to live in such an abusive relationship as this. You deserve way better then this. There are better guys out there who will love you for who you are. You deserve so much better then this. Divorce him because that is the first step for a happier life for yourself. Don't waste your time anymore with him. I wish the best for you. You know you can do it!
You really have to be the one to make this choice. Ask yourself some questions:
Are you happy?
Can you trust him?
Is he being secretive?
Would you raise a child in this situation?
If you do leave him, i think you will find your way out of depression and you won't starve. You will survive. You just need to break away for a bit and get a fresh perspective...hey, now there's a thought. Get away for two weeks without any contact with him and see how you feel. Take it from there.
Again, bottom line, no one can make this decision but you. Trust your gut instinct.
If hes a pathological liar hes not really getting help, first off.
Second off I personally think you should leave, and if you do, I dont think you would let yourself end up with a "worse" guy, would you?
Now that youve been this deep with a liar and a fool, would you really let yourself do it again?
Honey, get yourself some help. He can only do what he can do, and only time will tell if he's doing it. You, on the other hand, should not be waiting around to find out. HEAL THYSELF.. You could benefit from some objective thinking - a counsellor can help you see things you can't see on your own and will assist you in developing the tools you need to sort this issue out in a way that you can feel good about.
it sounds as if u have no confidence in yourself and u let what ur husband does drain u mentally,physically. if he is that toxic to u then leave or try marriage counseling. u are important and u have to take care of u first. get ur self together mentally, even though u are married u have to stand on ur own to feet. stop wallowing in self pity. get ur marriage in order. don't let another day pass without taking control of ur marriage. find out what happened to get ur husband in this mess,why he lies or be deceitful. take a step back and look at what u contributed to the chaos (not saying that its ur fault) but try to find some balance in this and get it in order. u can do this be positive and motivated to get ur happiness back as far as the bossy parents tell ur husband to stand up to his parents and be a man and take some control over what he does. don't let them comtrol ur marriage (been there done that and it was not fun).....Good Luck
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To leave, or not to leave?